It’s been a little over a month since my wife passed away. There’s a lot that has gone through my mind since then. There’s things people say that are supposed to bring comfort, but yet I can’t help wondering about some of them.
“She’s in a better place now.”
How do you know? We don’t know what lies beyond after death. Various religious beliefs say that there is heaven, that there is no heaven, that there is hell, that there is no hell, that we get reincarnated, that we just vanish…etc etc…And what is so wrong with where she was? Saying that “she’s in a better place now” makes it sound like being here on this earth with me was not great. Yes, she was sick, but before she was sick, was her being with me worse than dying?
“At least she went in peace.”
Again, how do we know? She was asleep, so we don’t know what was going on in her dreams. Do we know for a fact that her dreams were peaceful as she died? Did she dream when she died?
“I know how you feel.”
Do you now? Do you really know how I feel inside? Did you watch your spouse of 15 years deteriorate slowly, living a miserable existence until they died as a nearly empty husk for a body? If not, don’t tell me you know how I feel. If you have, I can believe it.
Ok, rant over. Look, I’m not trying to say that I’m not grateful for the sympathy I’ve gotten from people since she passed away. I am very grateful I have friends who care. It’s just that those things we seem to automatically tell people have got me thinking about the meanings behind them.
Anyway, still no luck finding work, and bills are starting to pile. Social Security is now asking me to pay back the payment she got from them at the beginning of September, even though she died at the end of the month. Like earlier this month, I’m still asking for anyone who can help to please do so. Click on the yellow PayPal button on the front page if you would please. $5, $10, $25…anything you are willing to help with would be most appreciated.
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